nonchalant-fork:

hostilehottie:

celestia:

remember

if you can watch this entire video straight through you have the most iron fucking will on the actual planet, in the actual universe. you have gigantic balls of steel. i would not fuck with you. you could come in my house and slap my mom and take my cats and i would just let you. if you can watch all of this you scare the shit out of me

I’m going to replace my eyes with scorpions.

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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

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disneymonde:

"um how did you find out i unfollowed you"

image

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lordbape:

straight men still pretending they don’t know and can’t recognize if another guy is handsome in 2013

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